Tuesday, February 5, 2013

How does love turn to hate?

Have you ever been in a position where you loved someone so much that you'd go to the ends of the earth to  bring a smile to their face. Well, I have and not just in the romantic sense either. I've had friends that I loved so dearly, I would continually sacrifice my own personal desires to help them out. When someone you love so much hurts you or betrays you, you can almost feel your love turning into hate.

I once had a situation where I almost instantaneously went from loving an individual to hating them. It was so easy, it scared me. I had always heard the phrase, there's a thin line between love and hate, but never realised what it meant until that precise moment.  The fact that I had done so much for this person only to have it thrown in my face made me angry. I was more angry than hurt. In my heart, I began to wish all sorts of evil things would happen to the individual. My love had turned quickly. Before then, I always wondered how people could kill their significant others. At that point, it became clear to me. Hatred is a horribly dangerous things. It starts out quietly enough but pretty soon it permeates every part of our lives. It's like an ugly tree taking root in our souls and it takes years of hard work to dig it out.

The Bible rightly tells us in 1 John 3:15 that any one who hates his brother is guilty of murder. It really is very easy to go from hating someone to killing them; like every other sin, it starts out as a thought and slowly grows in our minds until we feel compelled to perform the action. Hatred really comes from un-forgiveness and we know what the Bible says about that. My days of hating that person are far behind me and now I see them and can say hello without malice of any kind. Today though, I was again reminded of that thin line when I pondered a situation that could easily have gone the same way. Thankfully, experience brings wisdom and I now know how to handle that thin line.

Don't let hatred sink it's talons into your heart, you will have an extremely hard time digging it out. Remember that you chose to love the person who has hurt you. Let's face it, only people we love can hurt us; another person may perform the same action but it won't leave a lasting scar on your heart. Remember that love is a decision and not a feeling. You can decide to keep loving someone even after they have hurt it. It doesn't mean that you should let them keep hurting you. By all means, keep your distance if you have to, but don't nurse un-forgiveness or hatred in your heart, they aren't worth the space they take up.

Be Blessed and have a great day!

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to MaturityTrusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo 

5 comments:

  1. I really love the transparency in your writings. Each scream "authenticity."

    I go by a philosophy that love is deliberate. It isn't driven by emotions or influenced by favorable circumstances, it is driven however, by objective thought and application. My thing is anyone can choose to love someone who loves them back but love is shown mostly when it isn't received yet keeps giving (Grace). Perfect example could be seen in the sacrifice of the cross. When man rebelled against GOD HE sent HIS son to save them from the consequences of that rebellion because of love. HE could have turned HIS back and HE would've been justified but...

    I know it's easier said and you painted a perfect example through your personal references. That is why I'm convinced that love is deliberate. Not forced, but sees the opportunity to express it as a privilege, not a task.

    Bravo Ms. Author I really enjoyed this read at 6am! :D

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  2. Ouu.. Wow... Ms. Author, this is by far your most sincere and transparent blog posting. I was right, there is something different. I immediately knew that i would love and relish this reading; the title had me feeling very "curious” at first because I have felt this way. Everyone should take a chance to read this blog; he or she will not regret. REFRESHING! According to you, "Don't let hatred sink it's talons into your heart, you will have an extremely hard time digging it out." That’s it... Do yourself a favour and forgive, and you'll certainly see love disseminating instantly. Like you stated, it is not worth it!!

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  3. I've been in this boat once upon a time, even now sometimes there is the threat fall into that trap again. But this all brings to mind the scripture "guard your heart, for out of it comes the wellsprings of life (Pro. 4:23 paraphrase)" Apart from the truth of this message (and the knowledge that every person has different healing periods/lengths- it stresses indirectly, the need to depend on God in everything especially emotions. How can we say that we are Christians, if we can't act like Christ or seek to obey His word? Truth!

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  4. Indeed profound writing and inspiration. It just shows how paramount is a true relationship with God. After all He is love and His love has no limits or boundaries and goes on forever and ever. Love easily turns to hate when one is wounded and hurt, especially by someone they had surrendered their heart and trust to. It's only as you say, when God is your prop, you are able stand,forgive, recoup and move on. What does first John 7 say He that loves not does not know God for God is love. So solution to not allowing love turn to hate is God. Wonderful work. Sis Adams.

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  5. Thanks, I really needed this. I've been trying to differentiate the two & figure out why I may be feeling this way towards an ex.

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