It's amazing the things God reminds us of and when he reminds us of them. It's 3:50am and I'm wide awake because there is way too much on my mind. In recent weeks, I've hardly been able to utter a prayer of real depth to a God I certainly love with all my heart. My situation has just been weighing so heavily on my mind, I'm not even sure how to pray about it. But this morning, God is reminding me of a time when I was so young, innocent and naive that I'd come to him about anything.
I must have been only about 4 years old or so but I remember it clearly. Our home was being renovated and new carpeting being installed. I was the youngest of five children, my younger brother hadn't been born yet. Everybody else was at least ten years older than me, so I was the baby of the family. So anyway, we had new carpeting installed. My older brothers did it themselves and I spent the entire time watching them closely. They were using heavy duty staple guns to fasten the carpet to the floor and somewhere in my 4 year old mind, I figured I could use said staple guns to put a little book of plain paper together for my own drawing pleasure.
Well, If you've ever used one of those things then you'd know that it is very powerful and the staples do not come out of whatever you've shot them into very easily. I gathered up several scraps of paper and set out on my mission. I found a staple gun that was unattended and positioned myself in a corner behind the table and out of sight of any meddling adults. I placed my paper on the floor, grabbed my "stapler" and went to work. After lots of flexing of my 4 year old muscles, I fired the gun through my paper and into the floor. Satisfied with my work, I tried to grab my book and run. The book would not budge. The thing was stapled to the floor!
At that point I panicked. First of all, I was not supposed to be playing with the staple gun. Secondly, I may have just ruined the newly installed carpet. I could see my punishment coming. I'm an 80s kid, from the Caribbean, where spanking is allowed. I could feel my behind contorting in anticipation of the punishment. I could not be found out! I was desperate. I tugged and pulled and tugged some more, but the thing just would not budge. I heaved and tugged and heaved again, still no luck. So, I did what I knew would work. I clasped my hands and closed my eyes like I was taught in Sunday School and prayed. "Lord, if you'll help me get it out, I promise I'll be good." Satisfied that God would answer my prayer, I began to tug again. But it was to no avail, minutes passed and sweat began to pour down my face, but the book wouldn't budge. So, I prayed again. "Lord, If you help me get it out before mom sees me, I'll be really, really good." And I tugged again. Nothing happened. I was desperate so I prayed again. "God, if you keep me out of trouble, I'll be extra, extra good." Then, I looked up and saw my mom, my brothers and my sister all watching me. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. They had been watching me for quite some time really, as I prayed in earnest to get the staple out of the floor. When they realised they'd been found out, my brother rescued me and removed the staple from the floor. I did get chastised, but they were all so amused by my childish faith that I didn't spanked. Thank you God for answering my prayer! :-)
Tonight God reminded me of that day and that prayer. I was willing to come to him for something so little, yet now, with a problem as big as I'm experiencing, I'm avoiding Him. Sometimes, we try to fix our own stuff, organize our own lives and God is sitting there waiting for us to come to Him. It's not that I don't think that God can fix my situation; I'm afraid that he won't choose to. So I've been trying to spare myself the disappointment. But tonight, I'm learning that all those years ago, he didn't answer my first two prayers the way I wanted, but it all worked out in the end. I was chastised because it was necessary, but I was spared the full brunt of my mother's wrath. Maybe I can learn to trust Him to answer my prayer as He sees fit this time around. I'm reminded that if I do, it will all work out in the end. What we really need is child like faith. We must believe that the God we serve loves us enough to sort out our situations, not the way we want it, but the way we need it.
Joana James - Author of Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret
I must have been only about 4 years old or so but I remember it clearly. Our home was being renovated and new carpeting being installed. I was the youngest of five children, my younger brother hadn't been born yet. Everybody else was at least ten years older than me, so I was the baby of the family. So anyway, we had new carpeting installed. My older brothers did it themselves and I spent the entire time watching them closely. They were using heavy duty staple guns to fasten the carpet to the floor and somewhere in my 4 year old mind, I figured I could use said staple guns to put a little book of plain paper together for my own drawing pleasure.
Well, If you've ever used one of those things then you'd know that it is very powerful and the staples do not come out of whatever you've shot them into very easily. I gathered up several scraps of paper and set out on my mission. I found a staple gun that was unattended and positioned myself in a corner behind the table and out of sight of any meddling adults. I placed my paper on the floor, grabbed my "stapler" and went to work. After lots of flexing of my 4 year old muscles, I fired the gun through my paper and into the floor. Satisfied with my work, I tried to grab my book and run. The book would not budge. The thing was stapled to the floor!
At that point I panicked. First of all, I was not supposed to be playing with the staple gun. Secondly, I may have just ruined the newly installed carpet. I could see my punishment coming. I'm an 80s kid, from the Caribbean, where spanking is allowed. I could feel my behind contorting in anticipation of the punishment. I could not be found out! I was desperate. I tugged and pulled and tugged some more, but the thing just would not budge. I heaved and tugged and heaved again, still no luck. So, I did what I knew would work. I clasped my hands and closed my eyes like I was taught in Sunday School and prayed. "Lord, if you'll help me get it out, I promise I'll be good." Satisfied that God would answer my prayer, I began to tug again. But it was to no avail, minutes passed and sweat began to pour down my face, but the book wouldn't budge. So, I prayed again. "Lord, If you help me get it out before mom sees me, I'll be really, really good." And I tugged again. Nothing happened. I was desperate so I prayed again. "God, if you keep me out of trouble, I'll be extra, extra good." Then, I looked up and saw my mom, my brothers and my sister all watching me. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. They had been watching me for quite some time really, as I prayed in earnest to get the staple out of the floor. When they realised they'd been found out, my brother rescued me and removed the staple from the floor. I did get chastised, but they were all so amused by my childish faith that I didn't spanked. Thank you God for answering my prayer! :-)
Tonight God reminded me of that day and that prayer. I was willing to come to him for something so little, yet now, with a problem as big as I'm experiencing, I'm avoiding Him. Sometimes, we try to fix our own stuff, organize our own lives and God is sitting there waiting for us to come to Him. It's not that I don't think that God can fix my situation; I'm afraid that he won't choose to. So I've been trying to spare myself the disappointment. But tonight, I'm learning that all those years ago, he didn't answer my first two prayers the way I wanted, but it all worked out in the end. I was chastised because it was necessary, but I was spared the full brunt of my mother's wrath. Maybe I can learn to trust Him to answer my prayer as He sees fit this time around. I'm reminded that if I do, it will all work out in the end. What we really need is child like faith. We must believe that the God we serve loves us enough to sort out our situations, not the way we want it, but the way we need it.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Joana James - Author of Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret
No comments:
Post a Comment