Get Up!

It can be pretty difficult to move on passed heartache of any kind.  Emotional scars tend to run deep and each new one seems to reach further into the soul,  making recovery harder and harder and harder. But recovery isn't impossible.  

One thing I've learned though is that recovery will only happen if you want it to.  Depression has a way of getting worse the longer you stay in it. The more you cry, the more you sit around doing nothing and the more you stay away from the world, the worse it gets. It just hurts more to sit there and think about why you're hurting. 

People always say "get up,  shake yourself off" to others in such situations and of course it's very annoying to the person who is hurting but I've learned that as cliché as that is,  it's the only way to start the healing process. 

Of course,  there's more to healing than just forgetting your problems.  As a matter of fact, you'll run into bigger issues if you just bury stuff away,  but you can't dwell on them forever. You will only recover if you want to recover. YOU should be your own motivation.  You must want your life to improve for it to happen. You must want to move on for it to happen. You must want change for it to happen. 

My encouragement today for all us is to be your own motivation.  Be determined to rise above,  to move forward,  to grow and to change. 

Devotions like this one and others can be found in the Soul Food Series in Kindle or paperback format. 

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You Get What You Pray For

Wow, a lot has happened since my last post in November 2013.

Today's insight is an offshoot from my Pastor's sermon yesterday morning. It has inspired me to write again, which is a huge deal because I have not written anything since November 2013. I said to a friend yesterday that I seriously feel as if God has, as in Job's day, said to the enemy "Have you considered my servant Joana?"

Yup, it's that hard. I feel as if God is stripping me bare and until yesterday's sermon, I was fighting it.  But no more, because as my pastor reminded me yesterday, the grape becomes even more useful after it has been crushed in a wine press. In the wine making process, the grape is placed under pressure until it is crushed and everything pours out of it. It is litterally trampled and seemingly destroyed. Yet, the end result is beautiful wine that can be preserved for years to become even more remarkable.

I'm in the wine press season of my life - where God is really crushing all the juices out of me. I was complaining until I remembered that you get what you pray for. For a while now, I've been desperately praying, "God, change me", "God, fix me", "God, I don't like the person that I am", "God, take everything out of me that is not of you".

God is answering me. He's answering me by putting me in places and situations where I have no choice but to let go of all those things that are tripping me up. He's shown me an image of myself in the mirror and drawing big red arrows pointing at the things that have to go. This process is hard, it hurts, it's scary and incredibly lonely sometimes but I know God is faithful. He reminded me yesterday that He has heard me and the fact that I'm going through this means that is answering my desperate plea to make me less like me and more like Him.

So folks, let's learn with me as it's a learning process for all of us. Don't believe any Christian who appears to know everything about this life, no matter how long they've been Christians. If we stop learning, we will stop growing and that is dangerous.

So here are the lessons I've learned between November and now.

1. You get what you pray for. When you ask God to work on you, He will. Don't resist the process.

2. In order for us to get to the point where we are useful to God, we have to go through the molding/crushing/shaping process. That process hurts but it is absolutely essential. Again, don't resist the process.

3. God hasn't forgotten you. He is faithful to finish what He starts. He hears our prayers, and even when it seems as if he is not there, He is, working quietly in the background, doing exactly what we asked. Stay focused and you won't lose sight of Him and what He is doing.

Devotions like this one and others can be found in a handy collection in Kindle or paperback format. 

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Gossiping

Gossiping.  We all know that it's wrong yet we all still do it.  Yes,  that's right.  I said all of us.   Every body gossips or has gossiped at some point in their lives.  Sometimes it happens accidentally or unconsciously but it still happens. 

It is so easy to be pulled into gossip.  You may not be a compulsive gossiper; you may not even like gossip, but somewhere along the line somebody comes to you with a juicy story that you just can't help listening to.  It may even appear that you are discussing the story out of concern for the individual in question.  However, at the end of the day, it's still gossip. 

Dictionary.com defines gossip as idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.  We can all agree that we've all done that, right?

So what makes gossiping so dangerous? Let's see,  here are a few reasons.

1. A lot of the time the things we gossip about simply aren't true.  We can do a lot of damage to someone's character, family life, careers etc with idle talk.  We even justify our gossiping by saying where there is smoke there must be fire, but have you ever come across a situation where there isn't even an ounce of truth in a story that you've heard?

2. Gossiping can lead someone to depression.  The worst possible feeling you can have is knowing that you are being talked about but not knowing what is being said.  Maybe people have gone into states of depression because of this.  Others have committed suicide.  It's easy to say that people should keep their heads up and ignore gossip about themselves, but let's be honest.  Some people aren't very strong and we destroy them with our idle words.  We are like bullies preying on the weak. You never really know what people are going through behind closed doors and your idle talk may just be the thing that pushes them over the edge. 

3. It's just plain wrong. I clicked through one of my bible apps and just did a search for the word gossip in the NLT version. Even I was astounded by the number of results. Here are just a few. 

Proverbs 16:28

A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. 

Proverbs 17:4

Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip; liars pay close attention to slander. 

Proverbs 20:19

A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don't hang around with chatterers. 

Proverb 25:23

As surely as a north wind brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!

Proverbs 26:20

Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. 

Psalm 15:1,3 (I advise that you read the whole chapter)

1 Who may worship in your sanctuary Lord? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? 

3 Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbours or speak evil of their friends. 

So how do we avoid Gossiping? I said earlier that most of us do it unconsciously but there are ways to recognise gossip and nip it in the bud. 

1. Are you talking to a third party about somebody else's business? That's gossip,  so stop. 

2. Are you really sure that you are doing this so that you can help that individual? If so,  what is your plan for helping.  If you have none then stop talking.  It's not your business. 

3. We all have friends who are just dying to know the latest developments in some body else's life.  The unfortunate thing is that we often come across information because people confide in us.  So let us learn to keep things that are confidential to ourselves.  Don't even tell your other best friend.  It's how gossip starts in the first place.  When asked,  simply say "I was told in confidence"  and leave it there.  Eventually your friends will learn that they shouldn't even bother to ask you about some body else's business. These two verses of scripture bring out this point clearly. 

Proverbs 11:13

A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.

Proverbs 25:10

Others may accuse you of gossip, and you will never regain your good reputation. 

I hope these tips can help us become more aware of gossip and how easily we can fall into the trap.  As with all things,  awareness is the first step towards resolution. 

Have a blessed day. 

Devotions like this one and others can be found in the Soul Food Series in Kindle or paperback format. 

To grab a copy, click one of the images below. 

Getting Over The Big Things

One of the things that trips us up the most as Christians is the ability to move past the things we love that aren't good for us. Often, we realise what is holding back our growth LONG before we actually let it go.  Knowing that something isn't good for us doesn't automatically mean that we are able to let go of it.  It could be a bad relationship, or maybe a friendship that drains you or a job that's sucking the life out of you or a shopping addiction that's killing your finances. It could be anything. Sometimes we just need to make a strategy and take practical steps to get over certain things. 

I've found the following steps to work for me. 

1. Set a deadline  - give yourself a date after which you will no longer allow yourself to pine over what you're about to lose.  Ensure that is realistic or else when the date comes and goes and you're not over your problem you'll find yourself becoming depressed. 
2. Write it down - a visual reminder Sometimes it's all that we need to get over certain things.  If your space is private enough consider putting it on your mirror as a daily reminder.
3. List all the reasons that whatever is it you are trying to get over is not good for you.  Making an actual list will sometimes give  you that jolt you needed to move on. Reality will hit and you will have a stronger mental resolve as a result. 
4. Let it go a little bit at a time.  Cold turkey works for some things.  Other things need to be changed over time.  Break down your problem into parts.  Set mini deadlines for dealing with each part.
5. Pray, pray, pray.  This should come first, in the middle and last.  In other words,  pray the entire time.  Pray for God's wisdom, strength, clarity of thought and focus because you will need it.  You might even consider a fast too.  A fast will  help teach you some self control, this may help prevent you from going back to what you've left behind.

I do hope that these steps will help you leave the weights behind and launch into God's purpose for your life.  Have a blessed day. 

Devotions like this one and others can be found in a handy collection in Kindle or paperback format. 

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Joana James - Author 

All of Joana's books may be seen here. 

It begins with you!

There are a lot of things wrong with the way we behave in the body of Christ, there's no doubt about that. Nothing is wrong with the church that Christ built, however we are mere humans marred by sin and we have weaknesses.

Yesterday, a friend of mine told me a story. He said to me that one day, a lady at church simply walked up to him and invited him and his siblings to lunch. My friend was overwhelmed and quite frankly, suspicious of the lady's motives. He asked many questions about her, trying to figure out what she really was up to. Finding nothing that worried him, he finally accepted the invitation.

My friend's behaviour may be a bit paranoid, but when you really think about it, there's a reason for that. Kindness is missing in the body of Christ so much so that when it is offered to us, we find it strange. We see each others needs, (emotional, spiritual and physical) and we simply offer to pray, most of the time forgetting to actually pray for that person.

So the body of Christ is sick. No every joint is supplying and instead of doing our part we look to the person sitting next to us in the pews or even to church leadership. We have grown into a society that cares more for our own well being than that of others. We have lost our empathy.

Things can change in the body of Christ very easily. All it takes is each person working on himself. Each person seeing where they have erred and making a move to fix it. Each person showing kindness to the next, or love to the next or extending forgiveness to the next. That's how the body of Christ would return to proper functionality.

Ever wonder why it's so hard to convince others of the love of Christ? It's because we do not show that love. We talk about it but people do not feel it coming out of us. We are Christ's hands here on earth. We are the ones that are to show forth his love. People get to know Him through us. When we begin to show Christ's love tangibly, our buildings will become too small to hold the flock.

So today, let us not go about complaining about all the things we see that are wrong in our own local churches, but let us start to make the necessary changes individually. Before long, we will see the change we have always wished to see in the entire body. 

It begins with you!

Devotions like this one and others can be found in a handy collection in Kindle or paperback format. 

To grab your copy, click here. 

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo 

Feather-weight Christianity

Since Christ made an appearance here on earth Christianity has always demanded a bit of radical faith. First of all, it takes a radical determination to believe the things we do. To the ordinary man, what we believe looks somewhat ridiculous. It may even look ridiculous in our own eyes sometimes, but we have our experiences and assurances that keep us going, so we believe.

Believing is one thing, however, actions are something totally different. Back in the day of the apostles, proclaiming Christianity was punishable by death, yet that era gave us the most radical Christians we have ever seen. In the face of persecution, the apostles continued to preach, teach and lead their flocks of believers.

Nowadays, we have things so much easier. We can gather in public places and talk about our God. We can declare boldly that "I am a Christian" without fear of any harm coming to us. We basically have it pretty easy.

So why then are so many of us practicing feather-weight Christianity? Why are we just doing to bare minimum? We walk into church on Sunday morning, or Tuesday night or whatever other day we choose to go to church and after that we behave like we've paid our dues. We have the "no one can judge me except God" attitude and we basically live our lives however we want. Most days, no thought is taken concerning God's rules and our lifestyle does not match up with the Bible or with Christ. We have a million and one excuses for the reason that we can't do what the Bible says and we claim that those that do are fanatics or ignorant Bible thumpers.

Its been said before that the main reason the world resents Christianity is the Christians. We don't practice what we preach and that serves as a deterrent to those on the outside. Our pulpits are confused and we relax our principles in the name of tolerance or love. I bet God is saddened when he looks down on His Church; His bride that he's supposed to return for. The bride that should be getting ready for his return.

There are a lot of things wrong with collective Christianity but it takes each individual to look at him/herself and make the changes. The Church is you and it is me. It is not a building or a denomination. Therefore it is not a building or a denomination that needs to change but you and I. Our priorities need to be reset, goals revisited and lives re-examined because change starts with the individual. Let your neighbors see a difference in the way you live. Let your coworkers see a difference in the way you work. Don't use excuses to fornicate or to party like a wild animal. It's easy to put on makeup and head to church and call yourself a Christian, but it's a totally different story where living the life is concerned. Let's go back to the basics, honouring God and doing His will. That's all that's required from us.

Let's live today with a difference. The world is watching.

Devotions like this one and others can be found in a handy collection in Kindle or paperback format. 

To grab your copy, click here. 

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo 

Starting Over

Over the years I've made so many mistakes that I've become some what of an expert in getting up and moving on.  It's not something I like to be an expert in, I'd much rather be an expert in walking right, but as a friend of mine would say "it is what it is".

So anyway, getting up and moving on. How do you do that when you've made the biggest mistake you can ever possibly make? What's worse is that so many people know what you've done, right? You can't possibly walk away from that kind of shame. Or can you?

Step one: Forgive yourself. You've already asked God for forgiveness or else you wouldn't be trying to move on. He's forgiven you so now it's time to forgive yourself. I know, I know. You feel dumb for making the decisions you did because you should have known better, right? Doesn't matter. What's done is already done, what matters now is what you do next. So forgive yourself.

Step two: Remember that your sin is no bigger than anybody else's. Yup, that's right. The biggest gossipers in church right now talking about you are no better than you, no matter what you did. God evaluates all sin on the same playing field. We're all equal in that light. So quit worrying about what other people think. At least you're dealing with your stuff, that puts you a step further than the rest of them.

Step three: Get out of the house! Quit isolating yourself. That's not going to help you feel any better. And if you're trying to break a bad habit, doing it alone will ensure failure. I'm sure you have at least one friend standing in your corner. Reach out to that person and let them be your friend. If you really have no one,  then remember that God is there. Even though you feel stupid doing it, talk to Him out loud the way you would talk to a friend. That will help strengthen not only you but also your relationship with him. However, God is a great friend, the best really, but sometimes you just need human companionship. Ask Him so send you a friend who can build you up instead of breaking you down. He'll provide one.

Step four: Make a deliberate effort to rebuild your relationship with God. This is going to be hard because you'll feel like you failed Him and He shouldn't even forgive you, but trust me, He's the best friend you can have right now. Only a stronger relationship with Him will keep you from making the same mistake twice.

Now, go with God and with your head held high.

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo 

Change

Change can be annoying, disruptive, and just plain scary. It can also be a beautiful thing. Change can herald in a new era or destroy something great. It all depends on when and how it is done. Change is not only physical, in other words, it doesn't just happen around us or in our environment. As you go through life, you'll find that often times, changes need to be made within you. It is sometimes necessary to change the way we think, feel, react, speak etc. These are always the hardest changes to make.

As Christians, we go through various phases in our walk. We start off as babies and life is a lot easier during that time. We make mistakes, but it's expected. God coddles us a little. He pushes us forward but is a bit more lenient when we are reluctant to move. As we grow older and wiser in faith, the coddling stops. Things start to change. We are required to make changes to the way we do just about everything.

Growth almost always leads to change. We must change internally if we are to survive in the world around us that is changing. I've gone through several transitions and none of them were easy. First of all, I hate change. I like to be comfortable; chilling in my own safe haven that I've created for myself. But guess what, as long as you're comfortable, you won't grow. There's nothing pushing you to desire more. Hardship has a way of making us desperately desire God. In that desperation, we seek him earnestly and we do just about whatever it is He asks so we grow much more quickly. When life gets easier, we are much more resistant to change. Now it's ten times harder for God to get our attention. We almost refuse to transition from one stage to the next.

I'm at a point that requires transition and I'm scared. It's like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff looking down and God is behind me screaming "JUMP". I know He'll catch me if necessary, but who in their right mind wants to jump off a cliff, right? This transition period requires that I change the way I think about myself. It requires that I change the way I feel about certain things. It requires that I become numb in certain areas and more sensitive in others. It's a scary change because it involves my emotions (a subject that is always taboo for me).

I know that I'm not the only one at the edge of that cliff. A discussion with close friends yesterday revealed that God is asking that of several of us. He is asking that we jump, trusting that He'll be there to take us to whatever stage in our lives is next. Jumping off the cliff is scary, but I'm beginning to learn that if you never jump, you'll never fly. If a baby eagle refuses to jump from its nest and learn to fly, it will starve. It's mother will stop bringing it food at some point and it will die. It's the same with Christianity. God will never stop providing for us, but He will require that we go to our food at some point, instead of Him bringing it to us.

It's time to grow. It's time to accept that some things about the way we do business with God needs to change. It's time to move forward and do somethings differently. Accept the changes to our lives that God requires. Take the step and jump off the cliff. I promise, you'll learn to fly.

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo