Gossiping

Gossiping.  We all know that it's wrong yet we all still do it.  Yes,  that's right.  I said all of us.   Every body gossips or has gossiped at some point in their lives.  Sometimes it happens accidentally or unconsciously but it still happens. 

It is so easy to be pulled into gossip.  You may not be a compulsive gossiper; you may not even like gossip, but somewhere along the line somebody comes to you with a juicy story that you just can't help listening to.  It may even appear that you are discussing the story out of concern for the individual in question.  However, at the end of the day, it's still gossip. 

Dictionary.com defines gossip as idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.  We can all agree that we've all done that, right?

So what makes gossiping so dangerous? Let's see,  here are a few reasons.

1. A lot of the time the things we gossip about simply aren't true.  We can do a lot of damage to someone's character, family life, careers etc with idle talk.  We even justify our gossiping by saying where there is smoke there must be fire, but have you ever come across a situation where there isn't even an ounce of truth in a story that you've heard?

2. Gossiping can lead someone to depression.  The worst possible feeling you can have is knowing that you are being talked about but not knowing what is being said.  Maybe people have gone into states of depression because of this.  Others have committed suicide.  It's easy to say that people should keep their heads up and ignore gossip about themselves, but let's be honest.  Some people aren't very strong and we destroy them with our idle words.  We are like bullies preying on the weak. You never really know what people are going through behind closed doors and your idle talk may just be the thing that pushes them over the edge. 

3. It's just plain wrong. I clicked through one of my bible apps and just did a search for the word gossip in the NLT version. Even I was astounded by the number of results. Here are just a few. 

Proverbs 16:28

A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends. 

Proverbs 17:4

Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip; liars pay close attention to slander. 

Proverbs 20:19

A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don't hang around with chatterers. 

Proverb 25:23

As surely as a north wind brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!

Proverbs 26:20

Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. 

Psalm 15:1,3 (I advise that you read the whole chapter)

1 Who may worship in your sanctuary Lord? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? 

3 Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbours or speak evil of their friends. 

So how do we avoid Gossiping? I said earlier that most of us do it unconsciously but there are ways to recognise gossip and nip it in the bud. 

1. Are you talking to a third party about somebody else's business? That's gossip,  so stop. 

2. Are you really sure that you are doing this so that you can help that individual? If so,  what is your plan for helping.  If you have none then stop talking.  It's not your business. 

3. We all have friends who are just dying to know the latest developments in some body else's life.  The unfortunate thing is that we often come across information because people confide in us.  So let us learn to keep things that are confidential to ourselves.  Don't even tell your other best friend.  It's how gossip starts in the first place.  When asked,  simply say "I was told in confidence"  and leave it there.  Eventually your friends will learn that they shouldn't even bother to ask you about some body else's business. These two verses of scripture bring out this point clearly. 

Proverbs 11:13

A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.

Proverbs 25:10

Others may accuse you of gossip, and you will never regain your good reputation. 

I hope these tips can help us become more aware of gossip and how easily we can fall into the trap.  As with all things,  awareness is the first step towards resolution. 

Have a blessed day. 

Devotions like this one and others can be found in the Soul Food Series in Kindle or paperback format. 

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People-Pleasing

Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. Galations 1:10

It's easy to get caught up trying to make people like you or even approve of you.  The world has us constantly seeking attention, affection and approval.  

Human beings are strange characters.  They don't like you for one thing, but if you change it and do want they want, they probably still won't like you anyway. 

Everyday in the media we see severe cases of people-pleasing.  Singers who want to be famous get on stage wearing next to nothing and the crowds go wild, soaking it in and buying out their records.  People seem to want to only listen to music made by "bad boys" or "bad girls" yet these same singers get seriously crucified in the media when their marriages only last a few days or they are caught with drugs.   Most of them can't cope with their people-pleasing so it affects their lives. 

People-pleasing is very dangerous for Christians and non-Christians alike. Even in our church lives we sometimes get caught up with putting on a show.  Sometimes we raise our hands just because it is the thing to do,  not because we want to surrender totally to God. We join certain committees just because everybody else thinks that you'll be good at it even though you don't like doing that particular thing. We even find ourselves marrying a particular person because everybody thinks that "you two look great together!". 

 Unfortunately for us,  people-pleasing has the undesired effect of not pleasing God.  If we spend the rest of our lives looking for approval from man, we will probably never accomplish what God has in store for us.  If we're busy worrying about what men will think of us,  then we'll be too distracted to hear what God wants from us. 

Trying to please people is like trying to fill a bucket with holes,  it will never happen. Man's perception of what is good changes daily. Somewhere on the planet on any given day and at any given point in time, there will be someone who does not like what you're doing or who simply doesn't like YOU. 

Pleasing God is so much easier and has many more benefits. First of all, God will always love you, no matter what, even when you make a mistake. Secondly, His plans for you have already been set. They won't change, because He never changes, therefore you won't be chasing a moving target. Thirdly, God will help you get to where He wants you to go. God guides us through every step in our process and is there to ensure that we don't hurt ourselves when we fall. 

So let us go through today remembering that our job is not to please every one around us or even to gain the approval of man. Let us remember that our focus should be on God's plans for our lives and what He wants us to do with it. Remember also, that what God wants from us is true worship i.e. a lifestyle that follows his commands. We can't be true worshippers if our lifestyles are following the commands of the person sitting next to us in church. 

Have a blessed day!

Devotions like this one and others can be found in the Soul Food Series in Kindle or paperback format. 

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The Rich Poor and the Poor Rich

Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them. And those who are rich should boast that God has humbled them. They will fade away like a little flower in the field. The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements. James 1:9-11

The titles of this post sounds rather contradictory doesn't it? It did to me when I first read these scriptures, but upon closer examination, it makes perfect sense. You see, poverty (or less material things) has the benefit of less material distractions. The rich (those with more material possessions) have more distractions and therefore find it harder to get to Christ. Jesus said it himself, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:25)

Let's examine this a little closer. It is much easier for you and I, the working class to have faith and trust God for our provision because daily we see him work on our behalf. Daily we know that when we ran out of money, it was God who sent the tax return cheque to our mailboxes on the exact day that the electricity bill became due. We know that it is God who sends a friend to our doorsteps bearing the extra produce from her backyard garden because she had too much at the exact moment we were wondering what we would feed our families for the next couple of days. When we have less, it is much easier to see God's provision, his love and his tangible blessings and by extension, our faith in Him grows. 

So what's this about the rich being poor and the poor being rich? Well, let's put it this way, the rich (again those with more material things) must learn to remove their trust from their possessions and place it in God. We must learn humility and the transitory nature of earthly things. We must constantly remind themselves that all they have on earth is simply for this life and not for eternity. We must remember that when they die, all their possessions will be left behind. That can be quite a challenging task. That is why Christ used the camel in the eye of a needle analogy. As for us regular folk, we are rich with humility, knowing that God is our sole provider and our eyes are already looking to him for our help. 

So does that mean that the poor automatically make it to heaven and the rich don't. Certainly not. It means that we ALL - rich or poor -  should remember that whatever material possessions we have now are transitory. In other words, one day, we won't have them. One day, we'll be dead and we'll either move to a place of eternal rest or eternal damnation. Treat your material possessions as what they are, a means to an end. Let us not forget that no matter what our station in life may be, it is God who provides, God who sustains and God who delivers. Even if you have many material things, God is the one who keeps everything in order so that we don't lose what we have. 

May you be blessed with more whilst you remember that it is God who has provided it all. Have a blessed day.

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Joana James - Author 

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