Starting Over

Over the years I've made so many mistakes that I've become some what of an expert in getting up and moving on.  It's not something I like to be an expert in, I'd much rather be an expert in walking right, but as a friend of mine would say "it is what it is".

So anyway, getting up and moving on. How do you do that when you've made the biggest mistake you can ever possibly make? What's worse is that so many people know what you've done, right? You can't possibly walk away from that kind of shame. Or can you?

Step one: Forgive yourself. You've already asked God for forgiveness or else you wouldn't be trying to move on. He's forgiven you so now it's time to forgive yourself. I know, I know. You feel dumb for making the decisions you did because you should have known better, right? Doesn't matter. What's done is already done, what matters now is what you do next. So forgive yourself.

Step two: Remember that your sin is no bigger than anybody else's. Yup, that's right. The biggest gossipers in church right now talking about you are no better than you, no matter what you did. God evaluates all sin on the same playing field. We're all equal in that light. So quit worrying about what other people think. At least you're dealing with your stuff, that puts you a step further than the rest of them.

Step three: Get out of the house! Quit isolating yourself. That's not going to help you feel any better. And if you're trying to break a bad habit, doing it alone will ensure failure. I'm sure you have at least one friend standing in your corner. Reach out to that person and let them be your friend. If you really have no one,  then remember that God is there. Even though you feel stupid doing it, talk to Him out loud the way you would talk to a friend. That will help strengthen not only you but also your relationship with him. However, God is a great friend, the best really, but sometimes you just need human companionship. Ask Him so send you a friend who can build you up instead of breaking you down. He'll provide one.

Step four: Make a deliberate effort to rebuild your relationship with God. This is going to be hard because you'll feel like you failed Him and He shouldn't even forgive you, but trust me, He's the best friend you can have right now. Only a stronger relationship with Him will keep you from making the same mistake twice.

Now, go with God and with your head held high.

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo 

Bad Apples

I love spending time with my friends, they're crazy just like me. We play a lot, laugh a lot, and encourage each other even more. However, I've noticed a phenomenon and I'm quite sure it's true for any circle of friends, especially Christians. It is very easy for one bad feeling to flow through a whole crowd and make every one bitter. Your mother wasn't lying when she said one bad apple spoils the whole bunch. Now, I'm not calling any of my friends bad apples (ok guys, so be nice to me next time we meet), however, I've noticed that it's very easy for one person's feelings or perception of a situation to flow through the group. That can be a good thing at times, but it's also a very dangerous thing. It's kind of like going with the flow of things when you were a teenager. In a group, it becomes harder to think like an individual.


You watch news everyday and the most heinous crimes are usually performed by a group of people acting together. Take for example the infamous gang rape of the young student on the bus in India. Rape on its own is violent, but a group of men acting together make it much, much worse. I think it's because each evil heart combines to make something horrible. Each person's sick ideas competes with the last until the beast they create is too hideous to look upon.

In Christianity, it is very important to think for ones self. In a crowd, lots of emotions and feels can come up that cause you to lose focus. They mess with your faith and leave you feeling so weighed down that you may even move your eyes from God for a while. Be careful the suggestions you entertain from others. Be careful what you agree with and please, don't just go with the flow. If somebody is unhappy or disgruntled, try to assess the situation from all sides. There may very well be a piece of the puzzle that you are missing.

Most importantly, don't let the bad feelings from one or two persons in your group be transferred to you. If you are in agreement with them, check your own heart and see why. Is it genuine or are you just going with the flow.

Have a blessed day.

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo