Avoiding self-inflicted depression

Some times we humans crave for things we shouldn't have. Maybe an extra candy bar when we're trying to lose a few pounds, or maybe it's relationship that's off limits for whatever reason. Since the garden of Eden, man has wanted what wasn't good for them.

I'm sure we've all found ourselves in the situation where God has said no about something we want yet we continue to toy with the idea in our heads. We romanticize the moment when we finally get want we want, dreaming of the possibilities and how beautiful it will be. We day-dream and obsess and obsess and obsess. And the more we obsess, the more we need to torture ourselves at the end of the day when we're reminded that the things we spent the day dreaming about can never happen.  When the harsh reality hits, we're on the brink of depression and all we can think to do is blame God. "Lord, why can't things ever work out for me? I never get anything that I want. Everybody is happy except me." Does that sound at all familiar?

Does the thing you want most but know you can't have consume your thoughts? Do you dream that just for one moment things will be different and you will get to have want to really want. Then you need to quit torturing yourself. The answer is already no and God won't change his mind. Dwelling on the situation daily will not make Him change His decision. All it does at the end of the day is make you bitter, angry and depressed. You're destroying yourself and in the process you're failing to see the good things that God has in store for you; the things that are actually yours. Your life could be a lot happier if you'd accept the things you can't have and look to God with trust for your future.

Stop the self destructive behavior. Instead of dwelling on what you can't have, occupy your mind with something productive. Learn a new skill that falls in line with your life plan. Develop a new hobby. Play music while you work to keep your thoughts from straying. Actively monitor your thoughts. When you notice that you have slipped, make a decision to stop and deliberately occupy your mind with some thing else. And of course, ask God for help to overcome the thoughts and the obsession with whatever desire you have. Believe it or not, he will provide a way of escape but you have to be willing to move on and your eyes must be open to see what he's brought you.

Have a blessed day and remember to take control of your thought life. 

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Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo 

Starting Over

Over the years I've made so many mistakes that I've become some what of an expert in getting up and moving on.  It's not something I like to be an expert in, I'd much rather be an expert in walking right, but as a friend of mine would say "it is what it is".

So anyway, getting up and moving on. How do you do that when you've made the biggest mistake you can ever possibly make? What's worse is that so many people know what you've done, right? You can't possibly walk away from that kind of shame. Or can you?

Step one: Forgive yourself. You've already asked God for forgiveness or else you wouldn't be trying to move on. He's forgiven you so now it's time to forgive yourself. I know, I know. You feel dumb for making the decisions you did because you should have known better, right? Doesn't matter. What's done is already done, what matters now is what you do next. So forgive yourself.

Step two: Remember that your sin is no bigger than anybody else's. Yup, that's right. The biggest gossipers in church right now talking about you are no better than you, no matter what you did. God evaluates all sin on the same playing field. We're all equal in that light. So quit worrying about what other people think. At least you're dealing with your stuff, that puts you a step further than the rest of them.

Step three: Get out of the house! Quit isolating yourself. That's not going to help you feel any better. And if you're trying to break a bad habit, doing it alone will ensure failure. I'm sure you have at least one friend standing in your corner. Reach out to that person and let them be your friend. If you really have no one,  then remember that God is there. Even though you feel stupid doing it, talk to Him out loud the way you would talk to a friend. That will help strengthen not only you but also your relationship with him. However, God is a great friend, the best really, but sometimes you just need human companionship. Ask Him so send you a friend who can build you up instead of breaking you down. He'll provide one.

Step four: Make a deliberate effort to rebuild your relationship with God. This is going to be hard because you'll feel like you failed Him and He shouldn't even forgive you, but trust me, He's the best friend you can have right now. Only a stronger relationship with Him will keep you from making the same mistake twice.

Now, go with God and with your head held high.

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo 

Dry Places

As a Christian there will be moments,  days, maybe even weeks or months where you don't quite feel like a Christian.  I call it being in a dry place.  You literally feel like the life has been sucked out of you.  You find it hard to pray and even harder to have faith. You become skeptical about everything around you and you even begin to question everything you know to be true.

It's a very scary place and a very scary prospect for any true Christian.  Are you alone? Definitely not.  When I went through it the first time, I thought I was the only one who could be so ungrateful to have experienced God and let a few challenging situations make me doubt Him,  so I hid it and I struggled with it on my own. The result of that was it lasted way longer than it should have. Later, as the years wore on, I heard friends alluding to the same things.  Their experience sounded exactly like mine.  I wasn't the only one who had tasted God, seen His greatness then fell into a slump.  I've realized now Christianity seems to have a sort of cycle.  There are moments of tremendous faith but there are also moments when you feel so discouraged it's hard to even look to God for help.  In those moments it is paramount that you recognize where you are.  That is the first step towards dealing with it.  If you don't recognize that it's a seasonal desert experience,  you will sit and be complacent and accept your lack of faith as truth.

I'm not sure why we all go through those moments, but I do know that the devil capitalizes on every second of it.  During that time, you are very vulnerable to lies, deceit and any other attack that is thrown your way. 

Always be aware of your spiritual position even when you are at a high point, it will help you recognize the low points.  Also, recognize the low points for what they are: low points. Thirdly, recognize that you do not have to stay where you are. Ask for help, call your spiritually mature friends and have them pray for you. Most importantly, look to Christ, He knows when your faith needs bolstering. I've found that He always presents a very small situation that just blows my mind (like the little bird on the wire).

The dry place doesn't have to be a bad thing. Learn from it, teach others what you've learnt but most importantly don't stay there and don't let the devil get a foothold on your mind whilst you are there.

Have a faith - filled day!

Joana James - Author of From Redemption to Maturity, Trusting God with your Future,   Nightmare at Emerald High & Alana and Alyssa's Secret & Finding Romeo